I had a BAD day

I had a seizure today, it was my first one since late october. One the of you whom are not famliar with disabilitity related stuff seizures are not good things, having one is the closest to hell on earth as you can get. I didn't use to have seizures, I started having them fall of my senior year of college and no one has been able to explain to me why. In fact they not sure they are really are seizures. I thought I had finally got them under control. Today that kind scatted that myth. Im just so frusted about the entire deal. The worse thing about it was I at the preschool where I volunteer, when happened, and me seizing upset the kids and staff, and generally dispurted everything, something I didn't want to do. The staff was totally thrown they called EMS,was totally unnessary. Which I can't blaim them they not use to that stuff they work mainly kids with Autism and speech delays. It's not like when I worked at the county school where they dealt with that stuff everyday. So I had to play the please Mr. Medic don't transport me game with EMS. This made harder by the fact that when I have one seizure I usually have muitples, which was this time was no exception. So I'm giving these guys a example of what seizures look like while I'm while I'm trying talk them out of taking me to the hospital, it was a nightmare. So my sister comes and helps me run the EMS guys off. As about to leave to come everybody told me told me they hope I felt better and they hope I'm back next Wednesday. It meant alot that they wany me back after all that. They are really good people up there.

Today got thinking many non-disabled people don't want to know about the struggles and hardships disabled face. All they want is the sucess stories, the girl who walked and talked when the doctors told her parent she wouldn't, the popular high school student in a wheelchair, the college graduate with CP and a winning smile. They don't know how hard it was get that sucess. That even now that that you are a "sucess story" your not immune to things like seizures and bathrooming accidents. I feel for disabled people especially kids there to much of focus on sucess. Yes disabled kids should be encouraged to sucess like non-disabled kids, but feel they also need encourage to be happy and to be a good person.

On a positve note I did enjoy my volunteering before the seizures. Working with children bring me nothing but joy and the teacher I'm working with rocks my world, she's great. I've bonded with this boy Gavin,he about 2.5 years he , he has Cerebral Palsy like I do. The PT at the school says I'm a good buddy for him. I just like hanging with him and I think he likes hanging with me.