Dreams

When I was a small boy I had a dream of growing up and becoming a teacher. I kept it under my hat because fullfiling the dreams of other, my therpist, my teachers, my parents, etc. They are dreamed me as being almost normal. This is a common situation for disabled kids then and unfortunly now. I not saying disabled kids shouldn't encouraged c to increase there capilibity, but it should be should made to feel like the child working on a team that is working to benefit his/herself. Not that she is working on own to please her parent, therpist. or teacher. And at some point someone needs to say ok folks this kid might be capable of more but we would have to push him to hard so let's just teach him to work with what he got. At no point should getting increasd capibity should become the center of a child's life. This never happened with me, my mom alway saw a time had time to be a kid and I'm thankful for that. Some of my friends I grew up with wasn't that lucky. I knew kids who went to therphy two three times a week plus what they got in school, this for CP, it not like this was for some progessive condition. That's not worse case, I met a mom who took her son out of state for therphy, that just utterly ridulous, that mom needs her head examined.

End of rant, back to subject. So I finally told people of my dream of teaching when I was in high school. I was told that it was unrealistic for me to want to teach because I was disabled. Even people who normally supported me, such as my mom, were skecial. The main issue was my speech, which I admit I speak differently but most people do fine understanding me. So which much gnawing and nashing of teeth I graduated high school and enrolled at Ohio State as special education major. I choice special education because I wanted to help with disabilties.

So I get to OSU and surprise things go very well. My grade are high, I love my field placement, got really good evalution. Also made some great friend and had some great times. Then my senior year things started coming apart. First off two faulty members who supported me and who I had a good relationships with retired. Next, in November I started having neulogical problems, with balence, sstiffness, and tremors. No one could explain why or how to fix it. I soidler on the best I could. Winter of the year of doom I had spend a quater working in the OSU reading clinc like all special ed major. The director of the clinic was convinced that disabled people couldn't teach. She did everything she could make my life hard that quarter. I tried to resolve the problem dipmaticlly, when that failed I tried yelling and treating to get her tenture revoked. This while was saking and falling down, can we get this picture. I get pass the reading clinc nazi don't ask me how. Then I had to apply to grad school because the osu program makes get your master before get your lincense. I was accepted to grad but the faulty minus my two mentors decided they were going to doubt my ability to teach despite my record and hand to prove myself during my first quarter grad school. I started grad school in the fall but I just couldn't take it, I was still having phyical heaith problems and I had started to have mental health problems. I had fallen into a deep depression. To compete in grad school you have be at your A game I was far from that A year of living under bad circumstances had take it's toll.


After I left grad school and got my health problems under control I started working at Easter Seals which is a preschool for special needs. I did a lot of healing there. I quickly fell with the kids and the work the staff and I were doing. Before then I had focused on K-12 special ed now I knew my place was not there but with the little ones. I have bounced around since then but my dream has been teach special needs preschool. I have found a program at Wright State Univerity that will let me fulfil my dream. I would have to move to Dayton, money is issue and Im still having seizure but rarly. Im not sure if I would able to be find a job after the progam. If I do it it will be a big gamble. But if the gamble pays off my dream will come true and more importantly if it pays of I might make possible disabled child to one day fulfill his dream